Louisville X-Press Staff
New Lasik Procedure Increases Ability to Spot Bullshit by 200%
Stop being lead astray, let Lasik help you see all the absolute bullshit that we deal with day in and day out. See below for just some of...
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Louisville X-Press Staff
- Jul 22, 2021
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Louisville X-Press Staff
- Jul 4, 2021
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Louisville X-Press Staff
- Jun 17, 2021
Limited Release: Jack Daniel's 17-Year Cicada Flavored Whiskey Now Available
Capitalizing on the recent trend of cicada-inspired food recipes, Jack Daniels has released a small batch of cicada-infused whiskey....
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Louisville X-Press Staff
- Jun 15, 2021
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Louisville X-Press Staff
- Jun 6, 2021
Teen Inherits Weird, Printed Out Food Blog That Only Contains the Recipes and Nothing Else
After a recent spring cleaning, the grandmother of local teen Jessica Overstreet, 19, gifted her with what can only be described as the...
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Louisville X-Press Staff
- May 5, 2021
Woman Who Spent Entire Lockdown Baking Still Terrible At It Somehow
Not even in a lovable, endearing way we can all get behind. It's just sad.
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Louisville X-Press Staff
- Mar 29, 2021
Minimalist Wife Confronts Husband About Hoarding Problem
Tensions came to a boiling point in the Goss household when minimalism adherent, Kathy, finally confronted her husband, Steven, about his...
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Louisville X-Press Staff
- Mar 11, 2021
President Biden Promises Every American Will Receive 100 Million Doses of Vaccine
"That should do it!"
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Louisville X-Press Staff
- Oct 31, 2020
Relieved Children at Halloween Party Learn 'Dead Man's Brains' Actually Just Lamb Brains
"I was really grossed out, I totally believed they were people brains!" said 8-year-old party guest who breathed a sigh of relief when...
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Louisville X-Press Staff
- Oct 26, 2020
Supporters Applaud Muted, Muzzled, Shock Collared Trump for Passing as Civil Human Being Once
"We knew he could do it! MAGA 2020!!" said the supportive audience, watching his debate performance.
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Louisville X-Press Staff
- Jul 31, 2020
BREAKING: Trump Signs Executive Order Declaring Himself Election Winner
After drawing fierce criticism for suggesting a postponement of the election from Democrats, Republicans, the media, the public, his...
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Louisville X-Press Staff
- Jun 19, 2020
Coworkers Use of Emojis to Mask Passive Aggression Becoming More Transparent
"It would be one thing if she was my boss, but she's just an entry level employee over in accounting," reports Mitch Dwyer, a five year...
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Louisville X-Press Staff
- May 19, 2020
Local Bands Eager to Get Back to Playing Empty Rooms
With easing restrictions, many venues are are allowed to open back up at 33% capacity, many times more than what many local bands are...
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Louisville X-Press Staff
- May 7, 2020
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Louisville X-Press Staff
- Apr 24, 2020
Which Disinfectant Should You Inject Directly Into Your Body? The Answer May Surprise You...
THIS IS A DEVELOPING STORY: I tasked each member of my staff with injecting one household disinfectant directly into their blood stream...
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Louisville X-Press Staff
- Apr 22, 2020
Emotional Distancing Measures Shown to Have No Effect on Spread of Covid-19
"Emotional...what? Of course not, how would that help?" said a spokesperson for the Louisville Metro Public Health Department.
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Louisville X-Press Staff
- Apr 9, 2020
"Coronavirus is Absolutely Spread Through Video Games!" Assures Nations Girlfriends
"It's those filthy controllers that your gorss, sweaty hands have been gripping for hours so far today, and until 3:00 am last night."
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Louisville X-Press Staff
- Nov 28, 2019
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Louisville X-Press Staff
- Oct 13, 2019
Feeders Supply's Dog Training Classes Expanding Curriculum to Include Finance, Accounting Courses
Initially courses will be limited to financial disciplines...plans are to expand into marketing and business admin. in 2021.
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