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7 days ago

Limited Release: Jack Daniel's 17-Year Cicada Flavored Whiskey Now Available

Capitalizing on the recent trend of cicada-inspired food recipes, Jack Daniels has released a small batch of cicada-infused whiskey....

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After Numerous Delays, First Annual Procrastinators of Louisville Convention Has Been Cancelled

Louisville X-Press Staff

Jun 16

After Numerous Delays, First Annual Procrastinators of Louisville Convention Has Been Cancelled

Teen Inherits Weird, Printed Out Food Blog That Only Contains the Recipes and Nothing Else

Louisville X-Press Staff

Jun 7

Teen Inherits Weird, Printed Out Food Blog That Only Contains the Recipes and Nothing Else

After a recent spring cleaning, the grandmother of local teen Jessica Overstreet, 19, gifted her with what can only be described as the...

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Woman Who Spent Entire Lockdown Baking Still Terrible At It Somehow

Louisville X-Press Staff

May 6

Woman Who Spent Entire Lockdown Baking Still Terrible At It Somehow

Not even in a lovable, endearing way we can all get behind. It's just sad.

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Minimalist Wife Confronts Husband About Hoarding Problem

Louisville X-Press Staff

Mar 29

Minimalist Wife Confronts Husband About Hoarding Problem

Tensions came to a boiling point in the Goss household when minimalism adherent, Kathy, finally confronted her husband, Steven, about his...

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President Biden Promises Every American Will Receive 100 Million Doses of Vaccine

Louisville X-Press Staff

Mar 12

President Biden Promises Every American Will Receive 100 Million Doses of Vaccine

"That should do it!"

Relieved Children at Halloween Party Learn 'Dead Man's Brains' Actually Just Lamb Brains

Louisville X-Press Staff

Oct 31, 2020

Relieved Children at Halloween Party Learn 'Dead Man's Brains' Actually Just Lamb Brains

"I was really grossed out, I totally believed they were people brains!" said 8-year-old party guest who breathed a sigh of relief when...

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Supporters Applaud Muted, Muzzled, Shock Collared Trump for Passing as Civil Human Being Once

Louisville X-Press Staff

Oct 26, 2020

Supporters Applaud Muted, Muzzled, Shock Collared Trump for Passing as Civil Human Being Once

"We knew he could do it! MAGA 2020!!" said the supportive audience, watching his debate performance.

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BREAKING: Trump Signs Executive Order Declaring Himself Election Winner

Louisville X-Press Staff

Jul 31, 2020

BREAKING: Trump Signs Executive Order Declaring Himself Election Winner

After drawing fierce criticism for suggesting a postponement of the election from Democrats, Republicans, the media, the public, his...

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Coworkers Use of Emojis to Mask Passive Aggression Becoming More Transparent

Louisville X-Press Staff

Jun 20, 2020

Coworkers Use of Emojis to Mask Passive Aggression Becoming More Transparent

"It would be one thing if she was my boss, but she's just an entry level employee over in accounting," reports Mitch Dwyer, a five year...

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Local Bands Eager to Get Back to Playing Empty Rooms

Louisville X-Press Staff

May 20, 2020

Local Bands Eager to Get Back to Playing Empty Rooms

With easing restrictions, many venues are are allowed to open back up at 33% capacity, many times more than what many local bands are...

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Just as News Cycle Closes on Murder Wasps, Nazi Tarantulas Spotted in the Southwest U.S.

Louisville X-Press Staff

May 8, 2020

Just as News Cycle Closes on Murder Wasps, Nazi Tarantulas Spotted in the Southwest U.S.

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Which Disinfectant Should You Inject Directly Into Your Body? The Answer May Surprise You...

Louisville X-Press Staff

Apr 24, 2020

Which Disinfectant Should You Inject Directly Into Your Body? The Answer May Surprise You...

THIS IS A DEVELOPING STORY: I tasked each member of my staff with injecting one household disinfectant directly into their blood stream...

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Emotional Distancing Measures Shown to Have No Effect on Spread of Covid-19

Louisville X-Press Staff

Apr 23, 2020

Emotional Distancing Measures Shown to Have No Effect on Spread of Covid-19

"Emotional...what? Of course not, how would that help?" said a spokesperson for the Louisville Metro Public Health Department.

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"Coronavirus is Absolutely Spread Through Video Games!" Assures Nations Girlfriends

Louisville X-Press Staff

Apr 10, 2020

"Coronavirus is Absolutely Spread Through Video Games!" Assures Nations Girlfriends

"It's those filthy controllers that your gorss, sweaty hands have been gripping for hours so far today, and until 3:00 am last night."

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Thanksgiving Dish Brought by Vegan Cousin Untouched for 4th Consecutive Year

Louisville X-Press Staff

Nov 29, 2019

Thanksgiving Dish Brought by Vegan Cousin Untouched for 4th Consecutive Year

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Feeders Supply's Dog Training Classes Expanding Curriculum to Include Finance, Accounting Courses

Louisville X-Press Staff

Oct 14, 2019

Feeders Supply's Dog Training Classes Expanding Curriculum to Include Finance, Accounting Courses

Initially courses will be limited to financial disciplines...plans are to expand into marketing and business admin. in 2021.

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The Spotlight is on Louisville in the 'Idiot Driver Monthly' October Issue

Louisville X-Press Staff

Sep 21, 2019

The Spotlight is on Louisville in the 'Idiot Driver Monthly' October Issue

Long overdue, Louisville will finally receive the recognition it deserves in the October issue of Idiot Driver Monthly.

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Apple Store Manager Tired of Replacing Employees With New Models Every 6 Months

Louisville X-Press Staff

Sep 10, 2019

Apple Store Manager Tired of Replacing Employees With New Models Every 6 Months

Louisville area Apple Store Market Leader, Phillip Diaz, expressed frustration this afternoon upon learning that the iPhone 11 is rumored...

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New 'Gender Reveal Party' Trend is Just Giving Birth in Front of Party Guests

Louisville X-Press Staff

Aug 14, 2019

New 'Gender Reveal Party' Trend is Just Giving Birth in Front of Party Guests

We all thought it was strange that she waited so late in her pregnancy to have a gender reveal...when we did it was for later that same day

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