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  • Writer's pictureLouisville X-Press Staff

Man Who Could Have Won Lottery Wasted Luck on Well-Timed Green Lights

While on the way to work this morning, local Anthony Waters was debating stopping by his corner Thornton's before work to get coffee and snack, a routine stop that always includes purchasing a Power Ball ticket.

"Better not," he decided as his workplace had free, albeit mediocre coffee and there were almost always free snacks in the breakroom brought in by a coworker. The cosmic powers at work that distribute luck to individuals based on need and circumstances had redirected Anthony's daily allotment to making his commute smoother by granting his unimpeded passage through every intersection between his home and workplace.

Had he gone into the convenience store, the machine that assigns random numbers to a lottery ticket would have synced with the metaphysical fabric of the universe to match every single one of the numbers drawn, including the Powerball, making Anthony rich beyond his wildest dreams.

After arriving to work almost 15 minutes early due to his reallocated fortune, Anthony was thrilled to have time to have to pour himself a cup of burnt office coffee and a free albeit stale bagel without having to rush to clock in on time.

"Looks like today is going to be my day!" smiled Anthony as he clocked into his job that will lay him off in about two months.

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