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  • Writer's pictureLouisville X-Press Staff

"Coronavirus is Absolutely Spread Through Video Games!" Assures Nations Girlfriends

Earlier this morning, after weeks of quarantine, girlfriends across the nation have shared with their boyfriends that they read an article stating it's been discovered that playing video games, like totally, spreads coronavirus.

Boyfriend engaged in highly infectious activity

"It's those filthy controllers that your gross, sweaty hands have been gripping for hours so far today, and until 3:00 am last night," they report. "It's like the perfect breeding ground for Covid, or whatever."

Despite not being able to find the article on request, they assure us it was in their news feed. "It had been shared like a million times."

"Just washing the remotes doesn't work, they said the material is too porous so they're almost impossible to clean. You need to just put it down for 14 days, or until the government says it's safe."

When asked which news outlet reported the announcement, the girlfriends said they couldn't recall. "After being bombarded with news for weeks, they all kind of blend together. Whichever one you think is 'fake news', it definitely wasn't that one, it was one of the good ones," they said while refusing to show you her phone.

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