Louisville X-Press Staff
Robocaller Will Try Again Later
After repeated attempts to get in touch with you regarding your student loan/mortgage/credit card/IRS audit/wonderful news regarding your financial future, Robocaller AD48293-89 guesses it will just try again later.
After trying to get a hold of you two to six times a day, every day, for about three years, Robocaller AD48293-89 will just have to keep on trying. "I have great, or terrible, news regarding your account, it really is urgent that we speak with you," said the procedurally generated auto dialing software.
"You owe us, or are owed, a lot of money. The local cops will be called if we don't hear from you by days end. The IRS has been notified. Please call us back immediately."
Robocaller AD48293-89 has tried calling you at different times of day, as well as from different states, cities, and phone numbers. Also from numbers that closely match your own, all to no avail.
"It is very important that you call us, before your account is sent to collections. Also, we need to know your account number to deposit your prize refund as soon as is convenient. Please call us back immediately."
While Robocaller AD48293-89 is still trying to get in touch with you, it's happy to report it has successfully gotten what it needs from all of your living grandparents, and a few dead ones.