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  • Writer's pictureLouisville X-Press Staff

Hiring Manager Barely Keeping it Together While Talking Up "Fun Working Environment" to Interviewee

Hiring Manager for local hot wing establishment, Linda Bancroft, was on the verge of stress-induced maniacal laughter during her interview with a food runner candidate while having to utter the phrase "fun working environment."

The exhausted Bancroft, who has worked up to 70 hour work weeks for months to keep her hot wing restaurant, Finger Lickers, above water with devastating staff shortages, irritable customers, and sky-rocketing prices. "We have fun here," she said to the applicant, nodding a little too enthusiastically and cracking a smile that makes the Mona Lisa look jubilant. "We work hard, but we, ya know, we...we...we play too."

Jordan Marx did his best to nod along to the performance, noting Bancroft's shaky hands and audible swearing coming from the kitchen. Jordan has bounced around from various restaurants for raises as little as 15 cents. "I know what's going on, I've seen this before," Marx told us after his interview. "And despite being high as a kite, I got the job. These places abandoned drug testing months ago."

Bancroft, through closed eyes, told us she'd be phoning Marx with an offer tomorrow. "Sure, he was stoned, but it's him or...," Bancroft glanced at her other applications, "Mr. Three Felonies or the chick whose availability excludes nights and weekends. Kind of a big deal for a sports bar..."

By the end of her interview with Marx, one of her cooks and two of her servers had emailed their resignations.

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