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Desperate for Validation, Local Man Launches Louisville X-Press

Earlier this month, in a painfully obvious attempt to validate himself, a Louisville man launched the news satire website, Louisville X-Press.


“I just thought it would be fun, ya know?” said the amateur satirist.



One of the many variants of the logo that the man can't make a final decision on

The sad man, who wishes to remain anonymous to more easily disassociate himself from what will likely be an embarrassing failure, personally built and launched a cheap but functional little blog where he writes humorous “news” stories purely for the amusement of the readers, who will undoubtedly be made up primarily of his friends and family.


The the self described “Founder of Louisville X-Press” is otherwise unemployed, which is a surprise to no one.


“I had a logo created, and bought the domain, licensed some stock images, and the rest just kind of took off,” said the man, who neglected to mention that the process took weeks, the stress of which caused many sleepless nights, anxiety induced vomiting, and heated arguments with his wife who will likely be leaving him soon.


“Is he still doing that? I thought it would have fizzled out by now.” Said the man's wife, who also demanded not to be identified to maintain a semblance of dignity. While holding their crying toddler, “Well that thing better start paying for itself, I’m not giving him anymore money.”


The challenges faced have done little to dampen the man’s undeserved optimism.


“If it generates a following, I’d love to accept submissions, or even just ideas from the community. Give people a platform to showcase their own humor writing. Guys like the Onion don’t accept unsolicited writing, but I would!” said the man who was clinging hopelessly to the illusion of relevancy that he made for himself.


“Still working on the social media presence, but I think once a few of the pieces go viral, things will really take off.”


As of the publishing of this article, the man was completely out of ideas for new content.


This story is presented, regrettably, by Louisville X-Press.

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