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  • Louisville X-Press Staff

Amid Leadership Shakeups, Papa John’s Assures Stockholders Pizza Still Gross

After a disappointing Q1 sales report, Papa John’s leadership wanted to put at ease any concerns among stakeholders about the quality of their core product.


yeah, pretty much

A Papa John’s corporate spokesman reiterated, “We know our corporate reputation has been tarnished these last couple years, but we want both our stockholders and our customers to know that we will never abandon our commitment to delivering the most consistently disappointing pizza experience right to your doors.”


The Louisville headquartered pizza giant has undergone many changes over the past year. After various controversies, founder John Schnatter has relinquished power. Shaquille O’Neal has recently signed on as spokesman. An influx of hedge fund investment cash has been secured. Such rapid changes, even positive ones, can cause a stir among stakeholders.


“One thing that has remained unchanged is the resigned apathy consumers feel when learning that Papa John's was ordered. Whether it be biting into a slice of that overly sauced and salty pie, or the mechanically separated cold meat by-product of a chicken popper, or having to chew way too long on a single bite of soggy, doughy breadstick. These are the promises we’ve made to our consumers, and Papa John's stands by this promise.”

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