America a Little Annoyed Party Guest Proposed to Girlfriend at Its Birthday Party
While all in all a good sport, and genuinely happy for the newly engaged couple, America couldn't help but be a little bitter that attention was drawn away from it at its own birthday party by a surprise marriage proposal from party guest Greg Marcos to his girlfriend Marie Borges.
"Look, I'm happy for them of course, it's a big deal... but today was supposed to be about me, ya know?" said the nation during a lakeside barbecue it organized to celebrate its 246th birthday. "He could have at least asked me if it was cool first, I'm pretty sure that's what etiquette calls for but whatever."
"I really needed this, ever since the Supreme Court thing I haven't really been feeling too good about myself. I was really hoping today was going to turn things around and get my spirits up, but all eyes are on the happy couple over there. It kind of sucks."
As of press time, it's been reported that America threw up its arms and locked itself in its room for the rest of the party after seeing tweets about the latest mass shooting in Highland Park, Chicago earlier in the day.